Remember the Name
by cellie ruru
Summary: Hyuuga Hinata didn't think the nitemare could get any worse: Neji drowning her with self doubt...getting assigned to Natsuko Hitomi's AnBU squad...and, worst of all, a Kyuubi controlled Naruto! Is it even possible to kill someone you love so dearly?
1. Chapter 1

Darkness.

It flooded her vision, wrapping its warm velvety arms around her, lulling her to sleep. The day had been hard; her mind and body were numb. A stab wound still bit into her leg when she tossed, and her head pounded like a drum when she turned. But the darkness made everything a little better. It softened all the aches and pains.

Footsteps.

She heard footsteps. They echoed in her ears--or was that her heart beating? Someone was coming closer--

White.

Wincing. Lots of wincing. The sudden brightness drove her headache up another notch, and the pain in her leg intensified.

But the white light didn't bring heat--instead she felt a chill streak through her bones--the footsteps became less hollow and more of a _crunch crunch_ sound. As if someone were walking through leaves, but the noise was slightly muted and a strange silence settled in around her.

Something soft and cold brushed her cheek. Another one landed on her eyelashes and she blinked it away before stepping back and looking around her.

Snow.

The snowflakes fell everywhere, blanketing the area around her with immaculate white. A brisk wind nipped at her nose and blew her hair into her face--

_Crunch. Crunch._

The footsteps again. She whirled around to see who it was.

"Naruto!"

Her voice reverberated through the air, the ice and the silence both amplifying and muting it at the same time. The blonde-haired shinobi was walking towards her with slow steps, dropping scarlet flower petals in his wake. The petals melded with the snow, spreading out to make glacial crimson flowers, looking all the more like…

_Oh no._

She rushed to his side, trying to support him until she could lay him on the ground. "Naruto, Naruto-kun you're bleeding--what h-happened? Nevermind, it's okay, you don't have to tell me--just lie d-down and relax. Y-you're going to be alright, now…"

He looked up at her with confusion in his bright blue eyes. "Hinata…?"

"Yes, Naruto-kun, it's me."

"Hinata, I can't believe you…"

"What are you talking about, Naruto--?"

"Let's go, Lady Hinata."

She looked up and saw Neji, veins streaking from his eyes, looking at and straight through Naruto.

"He's going to die in a few minutes anyway. The chakra passage to his heart is completely blocked. We have to leave."

"--But--"

"Now, Hinata."

"We can't just--"

"We can, and we will. Why the change of heart all of a sudden? You did a fine job of the mission. It's time to head back."

"Mission?" she asked. "What mission?"

Neji blinked, deactivating his Byakugan. "Protect the village from the Kyuubi."

* * *

Hinata awoke with a start, cold sweat dripping down the back of her neck. Her breath was uneven, leaving her gasping for breath like she had the wind knocked out of her. Her small arm was pressed against her abdomen tightly, but she felt no pain. 

_Hinata…_

For the rest of the night all Hinata could do was cry. Unexplainable tears from an unexplainable nightmare. An unexplainable nightmare with unexplainable words.

_...Hinata...I can't believe you_…

* * *

"I can't believe you made it, Hinata-chan! I mean…I can--but…err…well…" 

Hinata chanced a shy smile. "Thank you, Naruto-kun." Her cheeks flushed a bright crimson as she hugged the AnBU uniform to her chest rather proudly. See? She was just as good as Neji. She could do the same things he did. There wasn't a difference--not anymore.

"Hey! Maybe…Oi! Hinata!"

Hinata blinked, confused. She hadn't moved. "…Yes?"

"Stop by my apartment tomorrow--I've got something for you!"

"Oh, oh…okay…"

Naruto looked at the black and silver uniform wistfully. "I could join AnBU if I wanted to…I'm pretty sure I would pass the tryouts." He grinned. "Don't you think so Hinata-chan?"

She blushed even more deeply and was actually forced to turn away to keep him from noticing. "Of course, Naruto-kun."

Naruto puffed up his chest, basking in the praise. "Well, I've got to go meet Kakashi-sensei and Sakura-chan down by the Main Gate. I'm running over half-an-hour late--Sakura's gonna kill me!"

With a laugh and a wave, the blonde teen was gone. Hinata managed to crack a fond smile. _He was already running late and he came to see me…?_

She made her way back home in a daze, brushing past villagers and other shinobi with hardly a care. Could this day be any better? She passed her AnBU exams, she got to talk with Naruto…the pale, white-eyed girl was so lost in thought she barely registered her cousin join her as she walked through Konoha.

"Lady Hinata."

She jumped a little at the sound of Neji's voice and resisted the instinct to quail in fear. "Cousin--!"

"If you want to survive, you have to be more alert than that." He eyed the uniform in her arms. "I see you passed."

"Y-yes…I guess luck was on my side yesterday…"

Neji looked at her coldly. "Luck can only take you so far, Lady Hinata. It's luck--it can't throw itself in front of you to block a kunai. It cannot perform Ninjutsu when you run out of chakra within minutes. If it's not tangible, you cannot rely on it. There is only one thing that will protect you…yourself." He sneered. "As if that's any comfort."

Her fellow Hyuuga threw her another haughty stare before disappearing into the crowd. Hinata watched him leave, not conscious of the cracked mask she held in her arms. She had clutched it so tight that it crumbled in her fingers, cutting her frail skin.

_Cousin…you trained, I trained harder. You joined AnBU, I followed suit. And yet…I'm still not good enough? One of these days, Cousin Neji…I will surpass you. You'll see._

But Hinata's small bout of furious silence only lasted so long, suddenly going out like a candle flame in the wind. What was she thinking? She'd never be like Neji. Even with all the extra training deep into the night with Kurenai-sensei, Neji would still always be smarter.

Faster.

_Stronger_.

He'd still always be more like the child her father wanted to have instead of her.

Ever since the Chuunin Exams, when her father had witnessed exactly what Neji was capable of, it was as if he lost all hope of Hinata ever making the Main Branch family proud and welcomed her cousin with open arms instead. It didn't matter how headstrong, or how condescending, or how arrogant Neji was. He had true power; true Hyuuga talent. Her father would go to any length just for a chance to train him.

Even if it mean ignoring his own daughter to the point that even she was beginning to question if she existed. If she was real.

She didn't know how long she stood there but it must have been an obscenely long time because the sun was already low in the sky, about to set, and there was only a scattering of people left sauntering through the dusty streets. Hinata felt a wave of exhaustion overwhelm her; she had a sudden urge to go home and just sleep. Sleep her troubles away until the next day, wake up, endure the day. Rinse and repeat.

"Hinata!"

A new voice. A different voice from the others that fluttered around her like dying butterflies.

"Hinata! Hinata!"

Now there were two, two unique voices blending into one.

"Hinata, where have you been?"

That was yet another voice--softer, gentler, feminine, unlike the others, yet all the more welcome.

She chanced a look behind her, face immediately brightening when she saw her teammates Kiba and Shino, followed by their sensei, Kurenai. Akamaru bounded along side them, as big as a wolf now, barking with familiar ferocity and delight at the same time.

Kiba grabbed her arm. "C'mon, Hinata! We've been looking for you everywhere! Kurenai-sensei suggested we take you out to ramen, to celebrate you passing the AnBU exams!"

"That's right." Kurenai smiled. "Congratulations are in order. I heard from Kakashi a couple of hours ago."

All of Hinata's worries washed away. It was going to be alright now--her team was here. Everything was going to be okay.

Kiba was still trying to drag her. "Let's go, Hinata!"

"Alright, alright, I'm coming!" she laughed, stumbling along beside him. Suddenly, all four of them heard a sickening crack--Hinata jumped back in surprise.

Beneath her sandal was her AnBU mask, lying on the ground, cracked and dirty. Pieces had been chipped from the edges, and even though it was brand new the vibrant red paint-markings had faded to make it look at least a decade old.

Shino bent over to pick it up and examine it. After a moment he held it out to Hinata. "Is it yours?"

Hinata nodded, unable to do much else.

Kurenai squeezed her shoulder. "We'll get you another by tomorrow," she murmured knowingly. "Don't worry."

* * *

Hinata didn't know what to expect when she walked into the AnBU Headquarters the next day. Over-serious shinobi with animal masks sharpening kunai and glaring as she walked past? Neji leading a crowd of squad members, pointing her out, hushed laughter echoing in her ears? 

Of course, that wasn't the only thing she was thinking about.

She was thinking of yesterday, how Kiba had held her hand up with his warm, callous-ridden one when Team 8 cheered her on at last night's dinner. She was thinking how she had to pass by Naruto's apartment later that day. A smile began to creep up on her face.

But the smile vanished as soon as she opened the door.

It opened to a wide open entrance room. A desk was pushed over to the left side with four or so secretaries scribbling away at huge stacks of paper. In the middle of the long table were a clipboard, a pen, and a sign with two words written in huge red letters.

_SUICIDE MISSIONS_

Some people were just asking for it, weren't they? She edged past the desk headed towards what looked like a roster on the far side of the room. A crowd of AnBU squad members surrounded a few papers pinned to a bulletin board that, upon closer examination, showed the teams for the day. Peering at the minuscule handwriting, Hinata searched for her name among the dozens on the long list.

"Don't bother," a voice murmured sternly behind her. "You're on my team, if you wanted to know."

A tall woman with long purple hair loomed over her, mask strapped to the side of her head. The other squad members let her through--though from fear or respect Hinata didn't know. She had a commanding presence about her; she must have been a Jounin Squad Leader, at the very most.

"You are Hyuuga Hinata, are you not?"

"Yes ma'am."

The woman sighed and muttered, "Why do they always send the rookies to _me?_" She waved her off and pointed towards a door. "The locker rooms are over there. Change into your uniform. Hurry up."

"Yes ma'am!"

Hinata shuffled to the other side of the room and pushed open the old wooden door that was rusting on its hinges. A familiar silence enclosed around her followed by, when the door slammed closed, the darkness. Hinata froze. Something wasn't right.

Her eyes went wide as a hand clamped over her mouth and someone roped her arms. She tried to scream, possibly bite the guys hand, but her body was oxygen-deprived and getting weaker by the second. She began to swoon, her already hindered sight blurring fast. Her eyes!

She activated her Byakugan and immediately targeted the chakra points on her assailant's arms. _All I need to do is push my chakra at the right points and make him let go--_

But Hinata didn't even reach that point before a fist came in contact with her skull and the whole world went black.


	2. Chapter 2

Hinata awoke, delirious with pain.

She remembered the shouting, the uproarious demonic laughter, at least when she was conscious. Being dragged away, sharp stones from the floor grappling her clothes and tearing through, reaching skin.

She remembered the ropes, binding her wrists, scratching harshly until they bled. At first Hinata imagined they were wet from the buckets upon buckets of ice cold water they threw on her. Through lidded eyes she saw the ropes, now dyed crimson. But she had no strength left to panic.

How long had she been unconscious?

Hinata realized that she was sitting upright, held up by leather straps that fastened her to the back of a chair. Her neck ached from hanging down for so long a time. She longed to rub it, soothe it, take away a small percentage of the pain that now coursed through her veins.

The room she was in was shadowy but not dark--she could still see herself, and patches of the walls around her. But where was she? What would her squad leader say when she never showed up? That she quit? Did her squad leader even notice she was gone? How about Neji? What rumors would he spread around next?

Hinata shook her head, trying to clear her mind of all these questions. Her world was still blurred at the edges like a washed-out photo. The only thing that drilled through the haze was the pain; the agonizing pain, the heart-striking anguish sending shocks up her spine from her wrists, her ankles, her arms and legs, her skull.

"Oh, so you're awake?"

She turned her eyes blearly towards the obscure figure's voice.

"It's about time."

Harsh fingers siezed her chin and roughly jerked her head up. "My subordinates claim to have kidnapped an AnBU member from Natsuko Hitomi's squad…" The man--for surely with that voice it must be a man--turned her head first to the right, then to the left. "…but they must have been mistaken. Natsuko takes only the best and the brightest. And from what I have seen, you didn't put up much of a fight."

Hinata could barely hear him as the blood pulsed in her ears, drowning out the noise.

"Ah…but from your eyes, I see that you're a Hyuuga…hmph." He let her head drop to her chest and loll from side to side. "Must be a cross breed from the Cadet Branch. No wonder she's so weak."

Oh, that _definitely_ made it's way through her skull.

The girl grit her teeth in mild fury, temporarily blinded by what she just heard. Weak? _Weak?_ He called her _weak?_ He had no right--

But the fact still remained--it was true. Not a single word that had come out of her captor's mouth was false…she _was_ weak. She just wished that people wouldn't constantly remind her of the fact.

Hinata almost jumped when she felt someone's hot breath on the back of her neck. "So you've got fire, eh…? Well…show me just how much, will you, dear?"

The cool blade of a knife touched the skin of her arm through a rip in her jacket, making her flinch. But the man simply cut the ropes that bound her arms and body to the chair with a flick of his wrist. The sudden missing force brought her tumbling to the damp, cold floor as her head slammed against the ground.

The pain increased ten-fold.

She could feel the freezing, contaminated water seeping into the raw wounds of her wrist, the cuts along her arms and legs. For awhile she was numb--before the stinging, nearly unbearable pain set in once more.

"Get up," the man ordered.

Hinata tried moving her wrist, her arms, her fingers, to crawl to a better position; tried blocking out the agony that set in on a loop every few seconds.

"I said, get up."

She barely managed to lift her head to look at her captor, eyes wide with pain and fear. It seemed like he was growing another head, but it must have just been a hallucination from her traumatized mind…

Yeah. That was it.

Wait a minute--_Hallucination_.

Hinata thought hard. Kurenai-sensei had said something about that, she remembered…

* * *

"_Hinata! Over here!"_

_Hinata spun around, purple sweatshirt half on, eyes panicked. She was late. But that voice--that was the voice of her sensei. She ran to the sound._

"_There you are, Hinata," Kurenai smiled, half waving. "Alright. We're going to start learning about Genjutsu today."_

_Hinata looked confused. "Genjutsu?"_

"_Yes. Genjutsu are illusionary techniques used to confuse and/or escape from you opponents. They're very useful to use against others, but that also makes you susceptible to them as well."_

_Kurenai stood in front of her. "To dispel minor, weak Genjutsu, the hand seals are _horse, tiger_ then 'dispel!'."_

_With hardly a second warning, mist began to curl it's lacy fingers around Hinata's ankles and up her legs, as if trying to grasp at her clothes and hold her there. Suddenly, the mist became tree roots that gripped her to the ground. Hinata let out a muffled scream as it began to drag her underground like quicksand. Was this Genjutsu?_

_A voice murmured in her ear. "Relax. Remember? _Horse, tiger_, dispel. Calm down and dispel the technique."_

_Hinata quickly steadied her trembling hands and managed to perform the seals. "Dispel!"_

_The illusion faded._

_Kurenai clapped. "Good, for your first try. But sometimes, when the Genjutsu is too strong, a dispel technique might not always work. You will have to interupt the flow of chakra around you by inserting your own chakra in the form of a huge wave or surge._

"_Because you descend from the Hyuuga clan, you naturally have a lot of chakra; as much as you would need to perform your gentle fist technique, and even your Fuuton. All you have left to do is learn how to concentrate all that chakra outwards, in order to penetrate the Genjutsu."_

* * *

The memory faded.

So. That was it. She had to concentrate all her chakra in one place, then expell it in a single moment. Hinata closed her eyes and began gathering whatever chakra she had left to spare.

"What do you think you're doing?"

She peeked open her eyes and saw Neji, staring at her through the puddle she was laying in.

"Just give up. Your weak. No one will care if you live or die. No one pays any attention to pathetic shinobi like you. You've been captured, you deny that you've been captured, and are going to waste your remaining chakra on dispelling a Genjutsu that doesn't even exist."

Hinata wished he would just _shut up_. She was losing concentration.

"If that's not stupid, I don't know what is, Lady Hinata."

She tried to remember the other night, with Kiba and Shino and Kurenai-sensei.

"You're going to die here, and no one will ever know what happened to you."

She tried to remember Naruto's voice, and how genuinely happy he was to see that she had passed.

"In fact, no one will even care that you're missing."

Anything to block out Neji's voice.

"Because being weak is your destiny, Lady Hinata."

It wasn't working. Her cousin's dreaded voice drowned out all other thoughts.

"Just like it is my destiny to surpass you."

Hinata squeezed her eyes shut and slammed her hands over her ears. Still, Neji's voice echoed in her mind. It filled her until she thought she was going to burst.

"_STOP IT!"_

Hate. Blind, unimaginable hate. It coursed through her veins like liquid fire, melting Neji's voice, turning it to steam that merely hissed in defiance. But the intense feeling also brought about fear. Terror from the hatred that she had never felt before. Rage, yes. Misery, yes. Helplessness, most definitely. But never hatred.

Through the haze of emotions Hinata expelled the pent-up chakra in her body like casting off a shell that shattered into a million pieces. Around her, the illusion fizzled and faded away, taking the pain and the cold with it.

She thought she saw a streak of purple among large silver and black blurs, heard the murmur of voices speaking kind words of encouragement, felt the sting of what could have been a needle on her left shoulder. The needle dragged down and made what felt like a few loops--what were they doing?

No time for that now. She was out of the trap, and now it was time to sleep.

* * *

Awake.

Hushed voices, a distant clatter of metal. Soothing liquid that calmed her parched throat. A bright white light. People were whispering around her, but so softly that their voices blended and she could barely make out the words. Too much imput.

Her head was throbbing.

_--Focus on the bright, magical glow overhead. Nothing else. All sound, drowned out to almost complete and total silence. Watch the pure light spin in circles above--_

That was the extent of her thinking. As people whizzed around her as if on superspeed, she continued to watch the light. Suddenly, she noticed something that had dimmed down to her speed level.

It was a moth, a small cabbage-moon moth that had found its way into the room and was now fluttering above her, attracted to the light. She felt herself smile. It was kinda funny how that little moth was so desperate to get at something it could never grasp. Hinata wanted to tell it that you couldn't grasp light, that it was impossible and to stop trying, but she could barely move her mouth and vocal chords at the moment. It never crossed her mind that the moth would never be able to understand her. But at that moment, it was as if it were the most important thing in the world to say.

* * *

Naruto stood off to the side and watched Sakura do what medic nins do best. Whatever happened to Hinata, AnBU wasn't saying. All he knew was that she had been rushed to the hospital from AnBU HQ because of severe chakra drain. It was fatal, but Sakura had gotten her heart pumping again in a few seconds.

After nearly half-an-hour, the pink-haired girl turned to her teammate.

"Alright…I guess you can talk to her, but I don't expect her to be responsive for at least another few minutes or so. Don't stress her, or she might go into cardiac arrest."

"Right. Thanks, Sakura-chan."

The teen walked up to where Hinata lay. She was staring straight above her with wide, blank eyes, murmuring something Naruto couldn't quite make out. He leaned closed to whisper. "What is it, Hinata? Hinata-chan, what do you see?"

Naruto followed her gaze up to the ceiling, where a white-green moth was fluttering happily around one of the lamps.

"What? A moth? What's so special about a moth?"

The blonde screwed up his face, puzzled, before shaking it off and walking towards the door. "I'll see you tomorrow, Hinata-chan."

Hinata just smiled and stopped her mumbling, her eyes slowly drooping. She'd tell the moth when she woke up again. She'd tell it that what it was trying to do was impossible.

That it shouldn't waste it's time.


	3. Chapter 3

Cel-Chan: The reason that the first part of this story lacks any substantial detail is due to Naruto--I'm sorry, but that boy lacks an observational skills whatsoever. //shakes head sadly// That's why it's mostly dialogue for the first part of the fic. But once it gets back into Hinata's hands, the wonderful, joyful detail is returned. Sorta. Enjoy!

* * *

When Naruto somehow found the time to visit Hinata the next day, he almost stumbled upon something even he considered extremely private.

Her father.

He was sitting on the edge of Hinata's bed, talking on the other side of soundproof windows, smiling. Hinata was, too. She was sitting up in bed now and enjoying every moment she could with her father, who--despite the way he treated her--she missed very much. It would be rude to barge in at such a time.

So he leaned against the wall and waited.

It was hot, in the hospital, he noticed. Weak air conditioning plus many sources of body heat never equated to anything good. Naruto sighed, looked at the clock. He was skipping out on a mission. Even Kakashi-sensei wouldn't be _this_ late. Then again--

"Hey, you! Naruto!"

Naruto looked up in time to see Team 8, probably here to see Hinata, too. Kiba was so excited he was even running on all fours, right along side Akamaru. He only stood when he got within inches of his fellow blonde Chuunin. "What're you doing here?"

"Same as you. To see Hinata-chan."

"Oh yeah? Then what're you doing out here? Did she kick you out?"

"--Shut up, dog-boy!" Naruto shouted, eyes flaring.

Kiba growled. "Dog-boy? Who're you callin' a dog-boy--?"

"Kiba! Naruto!"

Kurenai finally managed to catch up to the two teens, followed by Shino.

After a quick, on-the-spot decision, she reprimanded Kiba first. "That's enough! Naruto had enough respect not to intrude on Hinata's family time, Kiba. Don't think otherwise." The Jounin turned to Naruto next. "And Naruto, you may not be on my team but I happen to know that you're skipping out on a mission and I still have the power to throw you out of the hospital if need be. So stay quiet, and stay behaved!" She glared. "Both of you!"

"Hmph." The two boys turned away from each other and began to sulk like only boys could.

"What is all this? All of you are coming to see Hinata?"

Hiashi Hyuuga stepped out of Hinata's hospital room, stern gaze quieting all in his sight. Only when Kurenai stepped forward did the silence break.

"_Hai_, Hiashi-san. We have come to wish Hinata a speedy recovery."

Hinata's father branch bowed his head. "Well, don't let me get in your way. She's waiting for you."

* * *

Hinata sighed, laid her head back on her pillow. Well that went better than expected. He didn't yell, at least. She sat up in bed suddenly at the sound of her doorknob rattling. Oh! More visitors! Maybe it was Naruto…Hinata thought she heard some scuffling outside and tilted her head, trying to see out the window into the hallway. 

She didn't have to wait long, though--the door fell through with a huge _CRASH_ which, when the dust cleared, revealed a grinning Naruto and an extremely disgruntled Kiba.

"Hi, Hinata-chan!" the blonde called happily, ignoring the scratch on his forehead from his scuffle with Kiba to get through the (now non-existent) door.

Shizune, who had entered through a staff entrance on the other side of the room, eyed the fallen door with surprise. Her gaze flicked from the two boys, then to the door on the floor, then to the boys again. The assistant's eyes slowly narrowed.

Naruto, who had spent some time with the woman on one of his earlier missions, backed away with alarm. "Shi-Shizune-san! It's alright! We'll fix it--!"

"Tsunade-sama will hear about this, Naruto!" the woman said angrily. "Remember the last time, when almost all of the ceiling lamps in the lobby came crashing to the ground because you and Sakura were having an argument?"

The blonde teen gulped. He could still hear the tinkling of glass at the way back of his mind.

Kurenai had chosen that time to step in. "Kiba, Shino…wait outside. Shizune-san…must the Hokage _really_ need to know about this? We can fix the door in no time at all. Tsunade-sama is probably busy with a whole bunch of other things--"

"I'm probably busy with _what_, exactly?"

Naruto cringed at a voice he knew all too well. Oh Gods, he was in for it now.

Tsunade stood in the broken doorway, tall and proud, with her green coat and double ponytails. One of her eyebrows was arched in puzzlement, her lips pursed. Shino and Kiba watched patiently from behind her. This was not a woman to be trifled with. "And why is something else in my hospital broken?"

"Lady Tsunade!" Shizune cried, thrusting out the clipboard she was holding, trying desperately to pull the Hokage's attention away from the awkward scene. "Uh--err--Hinata's latest test results. According to what I see, she should be out by tomorrow."

The older woman took the papers and clicked her tongue impatiently. "Mmm. Alright." She handed them back to her assistant. "Kurenai, please take your team outside."

Kurenai nodded and left to join Kiba and Shino in the waiting room, followed by a tip-toeing Naruto.

"Naruto…you stay here."

The blonde teen sighed and turned.

Tsunade stepped back so she could face her two subordinates. "Shizune, Naruto, what happened here?" She shook her head. "Nevermind. Don't tell me. I can figure it out myself. Naruto, how many times have a told you not to destroy my hospi--"

Hinata watched the situation desperately, her eyes darting back and forth. "Err…umm…Tsunade-sama…?"

Tsunade offered her a cross between a surprised and a tired look. She had forgotten the girl was there. "Yes, Hinata?"

"It wasn't Naruto's fault…I heard them fighting outside so I used a Juukyen to open it…I guess I hit it too hard, and it fell through," she stammered. "It was my fault the door broke."

The Hokage looked her over carefully, eyes narrowed in concentration, before shrugging. "Alright. I suppose everything is in order, then. Hinata, you will be able to report to AnBU HQ tomorrow morning. Naruto, you have five minutes until I boot your sorry little ass back to your team."

"_Hai_, Tsunade-sama."

"Come on, Shizune. You have to check on Room 127 for me…Kaye came back in for her check up and I'm busy at a Council Meeting."

Shizune cast a grateful glance at Hinata before rushing after her superior. "Coming, Lady Tsunade!"

Hinata smiled at they two women as they exited, then turned back to Naruto. "Naruto-kun…you came to see me? Sakura mentioned last night that…that you had a mission today…"

Naruto scratched the back of his head, embarrassed. "Err…yeah. About that. I do, but I had to come see if you were okay today. You were a little out of it when I visited yesterday."

The pale girl blinked. "You…you visited me yesterday?"

"It's okay if you don't remember!" Naruto exclaimed. "Sakura-chan told me not to bother you for a few hours but I did anyway. I had to get home."

--_pale, luminescent wings--_

"Hmm…thank you, Naruto." She wrung her sheets fervently, her old shyness resurfacing. "For always check--"

"Hinata, what's that on your arm?"

--_fluttering incessantly, following the bright light--_

Naruto spied a tip of red extending under the sleeve of her hospital gown--he pushed up the cloth, fingers brushing her skin, goose bumps crawling up her arm. A bright red spiral tattoo curled around her left bicep; Hinata grit her teeth with pain.

--_a needle, dragging down, looping along her left arm--_

The tattoo throbbed angrily, a reminder of the agony of yesterday.

"That…that's an AnBU tattoo! Kakashi-sensei's got one on his arm, too, Hinata-chan!" the blonde chattered. "That's so awesome! I want one!"

Hinata blushed madly. "I-I guess…"

"I was wondering why you didn't get one the other day, when they gave you your uniform…" He trailed off. "What'cha do, Hinata-chan? Why'd they give it to you? Do you do something special?"

"I don't think so--"

Tsunade peeked her head into the room. "Hey! Naruto! Get over to the Main Gate--Kakashi and Sakura have been waiting for the past hour!"

"Sorry, sorry--jeez," Naruto muttered, scooping his mission pack from off the floor. "Bye Hinata-chan! Feel better!"

Hinata cast wistful glance in his wake. "Bye, Naruto."

* * *

That night her soundproof-ed room was winter silent, and just as cold. Hinata still lay awake under the icy sheets, half-expecting her breath to freeze before her eyes, trying to control her shivering. The temperature gauge that sat on the window sill proudly proclaimed that the temperature was 72 degrees Fahrenheit in bright, pulsing crimson, but the girl felt as if it were at least 32. She didn't know why; call it a bad feeling, but something was wrong. Something was terribly, horribly wrong. 

Dread blanketed her like the curtains hung limply over the window, thick enough to be suffocating and opaque.

_The curtains. _

Out of pure instinct and desire Hinata swung out of the bed, dropping the sheets onto the tiled floor and stepping over them. The floor was cold against the skin of her delicate feet, but she ignored it. The covered window drew her like a fish to a lure. It was an irresistible urge to see outside, a fear of what she might find if she did look. With a single sweep of her already pale hands, the girl pushed both of the curtains to the side…

…and stared in horror.

Hinata would remember that night for weeks on end, each time she closed her eyes to sleep. Though it was near midnight the sky seemed to shine as bright and scarlet as pure blood and she felt, when she opened the window itself, that the air was so heavy she could scarcely breathe. On the other side of the village, smoke rose from buildings burning to ashes taking everyone inside with them.

And in the center of it all: a beast that burned brighter than the fire around it; eyes glowing with rage and malice from being locked behind untouchable bars; tails--she counted nine--flaring, whipping, destroying all in their unfortunate path. Her breath caught.

"The Kyuubi."

As if it could hear her, the demon whipped its head around to face her with its smoldering eyes. Hinata stumbled back, frightened of what it might do--it had caused enough destruction from what she had seen, and that was only half the village. Instead, it spoke to her in a flaming voice that reached her ears with the volume of thunder.

"What? Not happy to see me, Hinata-chan…?"

Hinata's lip trembled--she took another step back.

"Are you…afraid of me?"

Another step. This time, instead of air, her fingers clutched the covers of the hospital bed.

"Why, Hinata-chan? What did I ever do to you?"

The voice seemed to be laughing, mocking her.

"…Come here, Hinata-chan."

She began to step back again; her foot brushed something on the floor. It was a moth, the same moth she had seen yesterday, the one that had fluttered so desperately and happily above her.

It was dead.

Whether it had been crushed under someone's foot or had just…_died_…Hinata didn't know. All she knew from the way her heart beat and her hands trembled was that it was never going to fly again. She bent down, intent on picking it up; only to slip on the bed covers she had dropped onto the floor earlier.

The girl fell backwards, slammed her head on the bedside table--

* * *

--and awoke the next morning, sitting straight up in bed, cold sweat flowing down her back. What a déjà vu from a couple of nights before. She shut her eyes and bit her lip, hard. 

A dream.

It was all just a dream.

Another nitemare, to add on to her ongoing list.

Hinata looked for more evidence. Her curtains were shut the way they were when she went to sleep; tight, letting in only the tiniest shaft of sunlight. Her sheets didn't seem dirty in any way. She peeked over the bed rail.

No moth.

She breathed a sigh of relief. Nothing. It was a dream. And then she began to laugh, laugh so hard that her side hurt. How gullible, how _stupid_ was she? Hinata swung her legs out of bed, still laughing but much softer now, padded over to the window. Judging from the small shaft of sun, it was a beautiful day. A beautiful way to start her first AnBU mission. She threw open the curtains. A beautiful--

"…No."

Words could not describe the shock that surged down her spine as soon as she saw the curls of thick black smoke from the other side of the village, the remnants of a blazing fire, rising into the clear blue sky.


	4. First Interlude

Naruto didn't know what he was doing. All he felt was a sudden urge--no, a need--to break from Kakashi and Sakura. He let out a short warning to them then bolted off the path, disappearing among the trees.

It had just turned dark. The sky overhead reeled in his vision, churning into a blur of streaks of stars, the dark outlines of trees barely registering in his mind as he staggered. He could feel the blades of grass beneath his feet, the slight bite in the cold night air. He collapsed to his hands and knees, desperately mouthing his teammates names, calling to them silently. Tears coursed down his cheeks from pain; a pain he had never felt before, never in his life.

_All of them. Every single memory. I'm taking them._

This pain came from the demon inside of him, erasing memories one by gradual one. He could feel them disappearing.

The streets of Konoha, running through them as a child, trailing always behind Sasuke and the fury of always being a few steps in his wake. Then it vanished, torn away. He felt the Kyuubi dig its nails into it, clawing the memory into shreds and ripping it out of his thoughts with raw fury. He let out a strangled sob.

Again it happened, and again.

How happy Kakashi-sensei was when he said that he had passed his test. The Chuunin Exams, in the Forest of Death, when he, Sakura, and Sasuke had almost died. The beautiful, sparkling emerald eyes of Sakura, who never returned his feelings for her. When Tsunade had place her special necklace, the one that had belonged to the First Hokage, around his neck--how cold the crystal felt against his chest. The pain in Sasuke's voice when Naruto spoke to him for the last time during their battle at the waterfall, and the way his eyes glinted with such malice he didn't think even existed. 

Vanished, torn away.

Then, he felt the voice's nails brush the edge of a particular memory, one he had hidden away into the folds of his mind. His eyes suddenly grew wide. He looked up in panic, muscles clenching with the aftermath of torture.

"No," he whispered through cracked lips.  
_  
This is the one that has to go.  
_  
Fresh tears stung his eyes. He sunk his head to the ground in a desperate plea. "No," he said, sobbing. It was the memory of a certain afternoon nearly five years ago from now…the day Iruka--his first friend, his mentor, his guide--had saved him from Mizuki. The day he found out what was inside of him; the demon that was the cause of all his suffering and loneliness for years. The day when it all ended. 

He cried. "No, no…please, no. Do not take this away from me." The memory…he felt the demon's claws dig into it. They raked across it, sending pieces of it flying. "Please! Let me keep it! _Let me, please!_" He let out a pitiful scream. "_Please, no!_"

Then it vanished, torn away.

In the end, he was left with only the memories that the Kyuubi itself cherished. Horrible ones of torture and solitude and isolation even in huge crowds of people. His thoughts were mostly empty now, he was little more than a shell of the boy that he had once been. He felt a terrible hatred of the monster inside of him.

"What…what have you done to me?"  
_  
You speak as if I've changed you. As if I've made you any different. Why? I just unearthed the hatred you've been hiding…I simply pushed you in the direction you were already going in. Now. Stand up, and let me breathe. I have a village to obliterate.  
_  
He could feel a powerful surge of chakra from his core, pulsing through his veins, taking over. Naruto tried to fight it. He did. But when a Jinchuuriki demon wanted something, it wouldn't be denied. In the end the boy let the Kyuubi consume him. It was easier, so much easier, and the pain even disappeared.  
_  
Sleep,_ the fox demon whispered in his mind.

Slowly, his eyes began to shut as if weighed down by lead.  
_  
Sleep, and let me do what I've wanted to do for so long.  
_

The next morning Naruto would find burns razing across his skin, lying on the ground in the middle of a forest, hearing cries in the distantce and screams mingled in fire haunting his dreams, with no memory of what happened the night before.


	5. Chapter 4

Realization at last.

The black and white that had consumed her world for seconds that were forever exploded into color; the black fumes of the fire threatening to cloud the infinite skies overhead. A shriek in the distance and cries from below tormented her ears and, oh, may the Gods have mercy on her beloved home, now dust and ashes. What terrible darkness, despite the light of the sun overhead, what an evil could have reduced the peaceful splendor of her Konoha to

Absolute.

Nothingness.

She didn't know how long she stood there, it felt like hours (though later she discovered that it was barely thirty seconds), but when Hinata finally snapped back into reality her mind went into overdrive.

How did the Kyuubi know her name? She barely even remembered the stories about the war with the demon. Though Hinata strived to work hard at the Konoha Academy, she hardly paid attention when it came to old-time war stories. She'd never met the nine-tailed fox demon--in fact, she'd been only a baby when it was defeated about sixteen or so years back. So that only brought it back to her original question: how did the creature know her name? The very thought sent shivers down her spine.

Hinata pulled on her AnBU uniform, which had been cleaned from yesterday, slipped the mask over the side of her head, and burst out of the hospital room.

It was as if her world had exploded into chaos: a wall of sound bombarded her as soon as she stepped through the door from rushing and chattering medic nins, gruesomely injured shinobi, and the clattering of metal beds and carts as they pushed past. Hinata spotted Shizune in the middle of it all, directing traffic and barking orders as loud as her gentle voice could take.

"You! Yes, you! Take them to Room 219!--Administer 700 milligrams of IBUPROFEN to Room 67!--Burns? The burn salve should be in Supply Closet 32--no, Tsunade-sama is not available right now--"

Hinata wove her way through the crowd to catch up with the woman. "Shizune-san!" she called, managing to get a hold onto the sleeve of the assistant's purple robes.

Shizune turned, eyed the girl with surprise. "Hinata! What are you still doing here? You'd best make your way to AnBU Headquarters--_No! Not Room 174, you baka!_" And with that she was rushing off again, leaving Hinata alone in the pandemonium.

She had to get to AnBU HQ, and fast.

"Excuse me--Sorry--Pardon--Coming through--!" Hinata pushed through the mob, eyeing the people who took one look at her uniform and made way without a single complaint. She took a small moment to revel in this newfound power wherein people actually looked at her with something other than pity in her eyes. What was it called?

Oh yeah--respect.

Hinata managed to get through to Headquarters without much incident (unless you consider having dozens of people ask you for help, being bombarded with questions from all sides, and almost being hit by the beam of a charred building as "incidents"), pushing through the double doors without hesitation.

The scene that met her eyes was much different than a few days ago. It seemed like the whole building was alive now, complete with half-panic, sweat, tears, and all. Everyone was running by their own agenda, once again making Hinata stand out like a sore thumb. What was she supposed to do?

"Check in with your assigned squad leader."

Neji had once again successfully snuck up behind her without her noticing.

"Who is your squad leader, Lady Hinata?"

Hinata bit her lip. "Natsuko Hitomi."

Silence, save for the madness around them.

Then: "I thought so. Come with me."

Her cousin led her outside once again and immediately leaped up onto a rooftop. He motioned for her to follow suit. Hinata jumped and grabbed on to the gutter, swinging herself up next to Neji. Without letting her catch her breath, the boy took off again.

They made their way across the village, avoiding weakened and charred buildings, fallen debris, people. Hinata was so focused on the consternation around her that she almost ran into her cousin when he halted without warning.

She moved to stand next to him, her long shadowy hair blowing in her face from the fierceness of the wind up on the roof. The wind brought ash and still-glowing cinders from the wasteland below; Hinata squinted her eyes to avoid the particles from getting in. The scene was a horrible mess of scorched flesh and charred structures, reminiscent of the disaster that had occurred yesterday night. She trained her sight onto one of the bodies close to her, right below the roof where they stood. It was an AnBU fighter, alright--there was no doubt in her mind when she saw the mask in the man's blackened hand. A strange thought swam its way into her mind, strange and random but terrifying nonetheless.

_If I wasn't safe in the hospital, that could've been me._ Hinata hoped the thought had nothing to do with the chilling wind that whipped at her bare arms. _I could've been­_--

"She's down there."

Neji pointed to a masked, violet-haired woman surrounded by the other members of her team in the very center of the wreckage. They seemed to be examining an article of clothing, and didn't notice the two teens watching from above. Hitomi herself seemed exhausted and tired--she had actually removed her mask, revealing panda-like circles around her eyes as a worn-out grimace played along her lips.

Hinata was about to move to join her when Neji caught her arm. "Are you mad?"

"What?" She blinked in protest.

"Your mask!" he hissed. "Never forget your mask, Lady Hinata!"

She winced, pulled her mask over her face. With a scowl that she knew Neji could never see behind the façade, Hinata leapt off the ledge where they stood and sprinted down to join her squad leader.

"This is #2071, reporting for du--"

"Where have you been?" Hitomi's face was contorted in rage. "We needed you last night! Where were you?"

"M-m-ma'am! I was secured at the hospital!"

"That is no excuse! Being at the hospital is no…excuse…" The squad leader trailed off. "…no excuse for this…"

Hinata had never seen someone so angry, so distraught. She bent her head with something just short of shame. "I…I'm sorry, ma'am."

The wind blew, attempting to fill the silence created.

Hitomi shook her head. "Nevermind. What's done is done. But Hinata…while you're here…can you identify this?" She held up a tattered jacket, so grimy Hinata could barely make out its original colors under the brown layers of filth, one sleeve torn to the shoulder, and the edges were partially scorched, frayed beyond repair. But what actually caught her eye was when she brushed away the dirt; she could not mistake the black and the orange for anything else.

"This...this is…This is Uzumaki Naruto's."

The woman frowned. "Uzumaki Naruto…?"

"Wait--" Hinata's mind kicked in. "Where is Naruto? Is he okay?"

"I don't know." Hitomi narrowed her eyes dangerously. "Why, Hinata? Do you have any personal connections to him?"

_Keep your voice calm, Hinata, _she told herself._ Don't let her know_.

"No. He was one of my fellow Genin…helped him in the Chuunin Exams…" It took all her strength to keep her usually wavering tone steady. She silently thanked God that her mask hid her darting eyes. "I worry about my fellow shinobi same as you, Natsuko-dono."

This seemed to be the right thing to say, for the woman nodded. "I understand." Another thick layer of silence and secrets surrounded them. "Hatake Kakashi and Haruno Sakura came in earlier this morning, intent on warning us that Naruto had been separated from them and the Kyuubi possibly released--"

Hitomi stopped abruptly when she saw Hinata's hands tremble.

"What's wrong?"

The girl caught herself and tried to immediately steady her composure. "Nothing, ma'am. It's just that…you aren't making any sense…"

"Hinata…how old are you?"

"Sixteen in a few weeks, ma'am."

"Hmm…no wonder…" Her gloved hand brushed over the jacket absentmindedly. "I suppose you should know, if you are to work on this mission with my team…

"As you should have learned in the Academy, the Kyuubi that attacked and destroyed the village fifteen years ago was defeated by the Fourth Hokage. What was kept from you was that, instead of killing the demon (for that could never be done, even by a great ninja like the Fourth), it was instead sealed inside of a baby boy. Naruto." Hitomi looked to the sky. "I don't know how it happened, but there is no doubt in my mind that the seal that holds the demon inside him is destroyed, or at least damaged. We don't know what has become of Naruto himself. Not even the fact that this jacket exists can tell us that he is alive. But if he is…" She reached into her leg holster and drew out a kunai with a red and black seal attached to it. With a flick of her wrist, the blade shot through the air and landed with a _thud_ in the dirt, pinning Naruto's jacket securely to the charcoal-coated ground.

"…we have been ordered to kill him."

"But--this isn't his fault!" Hinata protested. She frantically tried to remember all that she learned about seals. "If the Kyuubi is really trapped inside of him, he wouldn't be able to control it! Isn't there another way…?"

"The Kyuubi is too strong to kill directly, but as far as we know it is still attached to Naruto. Naruto is much easier to take out; kill the host, and the symbiote died as well--"

"There _has_ to be some other way--!"

Hitomi had a kunai to her neck before she could say another word.

"Hinata…are you _sure_ that you two are just 'fellow Genin'?"

_She knows._ Hinata gripped the woman's wrist, trying to wrench the knife away from her black-clad skin.

"Why do you care so much? What is he to you?"

"Nothing, ma'am…he is nothing…" Hinata bit her lip until it drew blood. "He means nothing to me--"

"_I DON'T WANT HIM TO MEAN NOTHING!_" The squad leader's eyes blazed. "I want you to _hate_ him, Hinata. In order for you to be in any good to me for this mission I need you to _hate _him, to _despise _him, to loathe and scorn him enough to want to _kill_ him!"

"I…I can't." The girl was speechless, barely mouthing the words. "I just--"

Hitomi motioned around her. "Look at what he has _done_, Hinata! Look at the destruction he has caused to your village, your home! How many has he killed? Do you have to count them yourself just to open your eyes to the endless damage? He deserves it, Hinata. How can you think otherwise? It's a life for a life, and you know it!"

The woman dropped her, the passion once again gone from her eyes. "But if you refuse to see, I will have no choice but to transfer you out of my squad. You would only be a hindrance to this mission. We cannot afford any weakness." She looked at where Neji stood above them, still gazing down from the roof tops. "I will find another Byakugan user to aid us."

Hinata kneeled on the ground, the words passing right over her head. Her mind was whirling in circles. No matter what, she knew that she could never hate Naruto. She knew him. He wouldn't do this of his free will--at least, not the Naruto she knew. But what to do? If she left, she wouldn't have any part in the inevitable killing. She probably wouldn't even hear of Naruto's death until days after the fact…

Hitomi towered over her. "Choose, Hinata."

…But if she stayed, there was always the chance that she could do something to stop it all.

"Hinata."

_What is the path that you have chosen? Both these roads are interwoven. Both of them will lead to woe, but one is fast and one is slow--some choices are harder than others you know._

Hinata shook her head to clear her thoughts--there were so many. Slowly, carefully, the girl rose to her feet as she pulled off her mask to reveal her pale face, her white eyes. White eyes so fierce and determined that even Neji flinched in their line of sight.

"Hyuuga Hinata, reporting in for duty."


End file.
